With or Without You
by lifeluver
Summary: I nod and gasp at appropriate moments, perfectly aware of those piercing blue eyes watching me closely. See Lucas? I don’t care that we broke up. No big deal. I’ve already moved on. I’m perfectly happy. Brucas


**A/N- So I've been feeling kind of overwhelmed by my other fic and thought I would do a quick one-shot, dedicated to all those Brooke/Lucas shippers. We can't give up hope! Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

He sits there, writing something on his paper. Our teacher is still droning on and on. He looks like he's paying attention, but I know he's just pretending. I can see his earphones peeking out from under his blonde hair. It looks shorter, he must've cut it. I like it longer. Not that it matters anymore.

The bell rings, jerking me from my thoughts. I look away from him and pick up my bag. I shouldn't be looking at him at all. After all, I did break up with him. And I was with Nick. He's not even in the equation anymore. No, Lucas is off the table.

Peyton's walking up the aisle and I 'accidentally' stick my foot out. She dodges it and rewards me with her trademark glare. Stupid whore. Speaking of, she's going up towards my ex-boyfriend. She says something I totally miss in my attempts to look uninterested and he laughs. I used to be the one to make him laugh. Not that I care.

Nick's standing in the front of the class watching me watch Lucas. Damn I hate love triangles. Not that this is one or anything. Whatever. I walk purposely in front of Lucas and whisper sexily to Nick, "See you tonight," just loud enough for Luke to hear it. I catch him staring after me as I leave the room. I smirk, quite pleased with myself. Two can play that game.

In the hallway I turn just in time to see my calculus teacher walking deliberately, obviously searching for someone. Crap. I duck into the nearest bathroom and wait cautiously for her to disappear. She keeps accosting me in hallways to tell me that she's going to fail me. But she can't really, I'm going to graduate in a few months anyway.

"Hey Brooke!" Holy shit. I think I just crapped my pants. I turn to see Bevin standing behind me, checking herself out in a mirror.

"Don't do that Bevin. You nearly gave me a heart attack." Now where'd that psycho teacher go…

"Sorry 'bout that." She giggles cheerfully. God I hate cheery people. I used to be one of them. "So how are you? We haven't talked in forever."

Huh, I wonder why. "Uh, you know. I'm fine. You?" Why did I ask that? Please don't answer. God that woman is still looking for me. She's got to know she's subjecting me to the horrors of an adult conversation with Bevin. It's her own form of punishment. Bitch.

"Oh, I'm great! Skillz did the cutest thing yesterday! He bought me this basketball and signed it for me. He told me I would be the first person who got his autograph, and someday it'd be worth millions. But he knew I wouldn't sell it. Cuz, it's important to him or something."

"Yeah sure." How do you shut her up again? I take a side glance at Bevin to make a pathetically fake smile and catch sight of my appearance in the mirror. My hair's all mussed. Well we can't have that. While Bevin rambles on I fish through my bag searching for my brush. I comb my long locks softly and look at them from all angles. When I'm satisfied that they're perfect I take the time to retouch my makeup. I finish and walk back into the now Calculus-teacher-free hallway leaving Bevin in the middle of the sentence. She chases me out like a puppy and continues her long-winded story. If I go to the left and then dart behind the football players I'll probably lose her…

Lucas is standing across the hallway chatting it up with She-who-must-not-be-named. I turn on my heel to face Bevin and say too loudly, "So what is up with Theresa? I mean who is she dating now anyway?" I add a giggle for effect. Bevin's starts up fresh again. I nod and gasp at appropriate moments, perfectly aware of those piercing blue eyes watching me closely. See Lucas? I don't care that we broke up. No big deal. I've already moved on. I'm perfectly happy.

The warning bell rings. I wave bye to Bevin and walk towards my next class, hair bouncing on my back. I hear him say something to Peyton then run to catch up with me.

"Brooke! Hey, Brooke!"

I pretend I hadn't noticed him. "Yeah?" I say without facing him, acting detached. My stomach is churning and I can't help but wonder if my makeup has smudged or whether my shirt is wrinkled.

"I was just wondering if you took the notes last period. Cause I kind of spaced, and… yeah." He drifts off, obviously disconcerted that I haven't looked at him yet.

"Of course I did. What else would I be doing?" Looking at you. Staring at you. Watching you. But other than that…

"Um, so, could I borrow them?" He says it in that cute uptalking voice that he uses when he's nervous. Not that I still think it's cute.

I sigh, as if bored by the conversation instead of savoring every moment, every slight touch as our bodies walk in stride together. The final bell rings and I'm no where near my class. Finally I reply, "Yeah I guess. Come over after school and I'll have a copy."

I turn and walk away, knowing he's watching me, and using an extra amount of poise to make sure I don't trip.

Crap, now I have to get the notes from Haley. This whole break-up thing is harder than it should be. Not that I want to get back together or anything. Because I'm with Nick. Right.

Shit there's Nick. It's his off period. I don't think he sees me. I slip quickly into the nearest bathroom. This time however, it's the boys bathroom, and I'm met by an unpleasant sight—geeky freshman at the urinal. I let out an uncomfortable laugh and he just stares at me. He's missing, but I don't think he notices. As he zips up his pants he looks at me with an awkward grin, obviously thinking of something witty to say. He fails. I give him a slightly disgusted smile and mutter, "Right," under my breath. I back up into the now completely deserted hallway thinking this had to be the most eventful 5 minutes of my life. And that I was really late to my next class.

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I sit in the room I share with my one-time-enemy-turned-roommate and stared at the notes. After a considerable amount of begging Haley made two copies of her notes, even though she disapproved of my lying to Lucas. But what does it really matter? It's not like he will ever find out. Plus, we aren't together anymore. I don't have to tell him everything.

I glanced at the clock. It was already 6. Convincing Rachel to leave had been easy—I just told her that there was a horny college guy at the Blue Post Bar and she was out the door. She wouldn't have anything nice to say about Lucas coming over and I'm pretty sick of people judging me. All I'm doing is giving him notes. I'm being the better person here. Mature. Wait, what the hell are these? These aren't Nick's boxers… What the hell are they doing on my bed? Oh my god, that skanky whore had sex on my bed! Ew ew ew!!!!

Ok, no more sitting there. The doorbell rings. Thank god. I run downstairs then casually stroll towards the door. "Oh, it's you," I greet him. He nods. "You can come in I guess."

He does, slowly, and I close the door behind him rolling my eyes. God he looks good. His hair is sticking up a little, and he looks like he was playing basketball. I wonder if he's taking his medication. What? I'm allowed to wonder if my boyfriend is risking his life for a stupid game, aren't I? Ex Ex Ex-boyfriend! Damnit!!

He's staring at me. I realize I've been looking out into space for a whole minute. "Oh, right. The notes are in my room." I start up the stairs. He follows. "Okay, you can come to," I mutter sarcastically.

"Oh, no, I can stay down. Sorry." God he's acting so shy. It's like he forgot we dated for half a year.

"No, whatever. Come on up." He nods slightly and continues following me. I lead him to my room and start fishing through my backpack as if searching for the notes I knew were lying on top of my desk right then.

He's standing uncomfortably in the doorway. "So, how do you like living with Rachel?"

I kneel back on the ground and face him. "Oh you know. It's fine. How's sleeping with Peyton?" Okay, that was an accident. It just came out! I can't be blamed.

He looks at me, confused and slightly frustrated. "I'm not into Peyton, Brooke. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Oh yeah? Then who are you into? Still me? Because I never can tell." I throw it out like it means nothing but I'm praying for him to answer yes. Wait. No I'm not. Am I?

He glares at me. "I thought this wasn't about Peyton. Remember?"

"It's not. I mean," Damnit. He's right. Everything I say comes back to bite me in the ass, doesn't it? "God Luke, why do you have to make everything so difficult?" Yeah, that'll work.

"Me? You're the one who made this into a fight. It's like you forgot that you broke up with me. Not the other way around." He's practically yelling now and I can't contain myself.

"You made out with my best friend, again!"

"We didn't make out, she kissed me! She was dying and she kissed me. I couldn't very well slap her, could I?" He's coming closer, yelling right by my ear.

"Of course not! You couldn't possibly harm your precious Peyton, could you?" I scream even louder, my eyes lighting up with anger. All the repressed emotions are tumbling out all at once.

"God, Brooke. I asked you for help because I really wanted to try and be friends. But you are acting like an insecure little bitch." He puts emphasis on the last three words. The room is silent now. My eyes should be shooting daggers through his head. If not, then it's not for lack of trying.

"And you, Lucas Scott, are a lying bastard. Just like Dan." My voice has lowered to almost a whisper. Neither of us speak, faces barely two inches from each other, waiting for the other to break first. The only noise is the heavy breathing coming from his mouth. Finally, in one swift movement I close the gap between us, forcefully pressing my lips against his. He gently pulls me back onto Rachel's bed.

He peels my shirt off and caresses my skin with soft lips. "Oh God. I hate you, I hate you so much Lucas Scott," I whisper through gasps.

"I hate you too." He replies and I can feel him smiling. I know what he means and I know he knows what I mean. Even if we can't quite say it yet.

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We lie in silence, him stroking my cheek softly. I've missed this. This calm time, where I can just snuggle against his strong body. I turn and notice the clock. It's 7. "Shit!" I say jumping off the bed, fumbling around trying to find my clothes. "God I'm going to be late. I'm supposed to be there, like now!"

"Be where?" He asks, confused as he pulls on his jeans slowly.

"I've got to go meet Nick. Crap, where're my shoes?" He hands one to me and I smile gratefully.

"Who's Nick?" He asks, confused. I don't answer, I'm too busy. I glance at a mirror: my hair's a mess and my shirts wrinkled but I don't care. Nick'll just have to deal. I run downstairs, and Lucas follows again, saying something. I open the door and run towards my car. Lucas stands on the lawn with no shirt, asking me where I'm going.

I'm running away, again and he's chasing me, again. Maybe one day I'll understand what that means, maybe one day it'll finally be our time. But for now, I'm content to just smile my first true smile in a long time and give him a wave as I pull out and drive away.

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**A/N- So this is still planned to be a one-shot, but I can see some possibilities. Leave a review to tell me what you think! **


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